Sunday, September 02, 2007

-:Trail of Broken Hearts:-

It happens again. Time stand stills as I sit in my room, dumb-struck by what had happen. My mom is going into the operation room tomorrow. I hope she'll be fine. She has this some sort of a collection in her backbone, which gave pressure to her spine. She has been suffering from these illness for quite sometime, and as her only son I am quite frustrated due to the fact that I can do nothing but watch. It hurts. I hope she'll get well soon. I kinda miss her...

About US, WE are waiting for a miracle to happen. Thing turns out ugly. Suddenly I felt as if I am being a problem in her live. Don't get me wrong. I did not caused any trouble in her life, I AM THE TROUBLE. Because of me and my stupid ideas, she was scolded by her mother. I should have stop. I shouldn't make the next move. I have caused her grief.

This, plus the fact that my mom is in the hospital, is a great blow to me. And the worst part is that I can do nothing but watch. Watch as my mom helplessly moaning in pain, watch as SHE leaves me be. Being in such a mess is one thing, being in such a mess ALONE is a different thing all-together. Sometimes I do wish that this is all just a big ugly nightmare :P

But seriously, facing such situation alone is one hell-of-a-test. I need her the most now and it hurts to know that she is walking away.. Slowly, but surely, she is leaving me.

To HER whom I love... I am still in love with you, and I miss your laughter, your smiles, your way of making fun of me, your way of making fun of Puan Buncit (!), but most of all, I miss you who gave me strength when everyone else seems to let me down..

Someone please help me remember how to smile again.. T.T

"...with the trail of broken hearts.. flying freee...."